“It’s your day” as a myth, in the anthropological sense
As an anthropologist, Shrubby observes patterns of behavior for a living. So, of course she couldn’t help herself from using this finely-honed skill as she explores the wilds of wedding culture. In this guest post, Shrubby breaks down the idea of the “it’s your day” mythology and its implications and uses during wedding planning.
Let’s re-write our notions about what defines a wedding!
The wedding ceremony and the following reception seem to be the last social events in our country to change even in the slightest. If you dare to ask what the big deal is about a white dress, people will ask you why you’d want to look like a harlot. If you suggest having canolis for dessert and skipping the cake-cutting ceremony, people will balk as if you’ve just asked your guests to eat their own toenails. You don’t want a bridal party either? Well apparently you have no friends and no respect for tradition. It’s clear that when you deviate from the preordained structure of a “classic” wedding, you’re a rebel, a renegade, an outlaw.
Juggling wedding planning and grief
Stressful as wedding planning can be, doing so after the loss of loved ones brings up so many more painful questions and emotions. Melissa, who lost both of her parents before her wedding, dives into this, sadly, universal issue. Begging the question: how DOES one juggle grief and wedding planning?
Finally owning that I’m a more traditional bride: You are awesome and so am I
Offbeat Bride (both the book and the site) changed me a lot. I became more comfortable with who I am. I discovered fashions and subcultures that I had never known existed, but now love. I learned how to deal with stress, with family, with my own doubts. But because of this fabulous place, I also developed one of my biggest doubts about the wedding: was it going to be offbeat enough?
What I learned from canceling my wedding
After canceling our wedding, with a heavy heart, I decided to take my obsession with list-making to another level. Here is a compilation of the lessons I learned in wedding cancellation…
My wedding is not a college entrance exam: does every wedding choice have to prove a point?
Somewhere in the wedding planning process I gave birth to a beast: you, Wedding-Planning-Me, you were born. And now we have to have a little talk.