How “all about the bride” is not about the bride at all
I knew going into wedding planning that there would be a lot of cooks in the kitchen, we knew there would be a few things where we just couldn’t compromise and would have to put our collective foot down. I offered, early on, to be the bad guy in these situations, since I could just say “I’m the bride, and this is what I want.” Turns out, no one cares if I’m the bride unless I want what “the bride” is supposed to want in their minds. “I” have been erased from the process. Let me give you some examples…
Queer femme hearts trans man: the legitimacy of love
Being fully, unapologetically ourselves comes with risks and can be both contentious and dangerous. We are violated, belittled, deprived of love, victimized, isolated and left wanting… both by larger systems and communities, and by people we thought we could trust. Amidst the pain or discomfort, we have to remember that there is hope.
The top 5 post-wedding feels that have completely blindsided me, and what I’m doing about them
Or: “Mary goes through it so you don’t have to!” Or: “Married life is way less thrilling than I was anticipating so I’m going to write a post as if I’m giving someone else advice about the situation I happen to find myself in.”
When family tragedy strikes during wedding planning
To every cloud there is a silver lining — and the silver lining to my father’s stroke and the fear that we were going to lose him was that when, five months later (six months until the wedding), my fiancé’s mother died suddenly and unexpectedly. I was much better equipped to understand what he was going through. And I was better able to support him. In those first few days after she died we talked about many things, some trivial and some very important…