Society fucked up my perception of weddings, my gender, and my disability
I just obtained a marriage license. In the state of Massachusetts, this means that I have sixty days to become a Married Lady™. I’m currently binge watching “Say Yes to the Dress” on TLC. One might assume that the reason I’m doing this is because I’m a BRIDE so I am doing BRIDE things because BRIDE.
Not so much.
Skeptic turned bride: The 5 feminist wedding choices I made
Like many feminists, I have always regarded the institution of marriage with some skepticism. While at one point in my life I thought I would never get married, I changed my mind when I met my husband, Chuck. Being with him made me feel like I wanted to experience everything life had to offer, including marriage and whatever that entailed. I wanted to celebrate our love and our life together with the people we care about the most and honor our commitment to each other.
But marriage will always be a tradition borne out of the patriarchy. So there I was on our wedding day, a feminist dressed in ivory, clutching my father’s arm while he walked me down the aisle.
Why read wedding blogs?
Why are you here right now? If the data I have is accurate, chances are pretty good that you’re looking for wedding ideas (you KNOW we have a million for you to steal) or trying to get inspired. Neither of these are especially surprising, right? I see the same cycle happen every year, with a wave of freshly engaged folks flooding in looking for ideas and inspiration… and then at a certain point being like “Oh my god, I’m overwhelmed with ideas! I have too much inspiration! I need to stop looking at wedding inspo and start, like, actually getting some shit done.”
But let’s talk over all the other reasons you might be reading…
How we’re making peace with our no bells and whistles wedding in the WIC pressure cooker
Planning a budget-friendly, streamlined wedding that doesn’t feature all the “bells and whistles” of traditional weddings is not without its judgments and that’s where my recent stress has been coming in. Wedding planning forums can make you question if your wedding is going to be remembered as the “worst wedding ever,” your ideas suck, and it’s all going to be tacky, especially if you are cutting some corners, budget-wise. Here’s how we’re handling the pressure.
How important is it for people to say yours was the BEST WEDDING EVER?
Y’all know I loves me some data, and this little nugget from Splendid Insights is a hot nugget — turns out that generally speaking, almost 70% of us think having the BEST WEDDING EVER matters. Maybe it’s not the top priority, but it still matters.
What does this say about us?
It’s not just about the bride: The Wedding Industry puts pressure on bridesmaids too!
Somehow the lines of friendship and being a bridesmaid have been blurred by the wedding industry. “Requiring” bridesmaids to throw over-the-top bachelorette parties, or instructing brides that all of their bridesmaids must have matching monogramed robes as gifts, are ways to get people to open their checkbooks just a little more. Wedding websites, magazines and Pinterest are filled with lists and suggestions that can make one feel like, if they aren’t throwing a lavish bridal shower, they aren’t doing it right.