Category Archive

Philosophizing

How do you feel about your wedding? What does it all mean? How does wedding planning a metaphor for the rest of your life?

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Bride spins out of control selecting Save the Date photos

So, I’m getting married. Like, picked a date. Like, getting magazines delivered monthly to my door, reserving room blocks, and picking out “my colors.” And, although the semi-addicted online shopper in me enjoys parts of this exploration, it does become a glitter and bubbles-filled tornado after awhile. And I was spinning out of control.

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I didn’t think about how our guests would treat our wedding on social media

We’ve talked about hiding your wedding-related details on Facebook, but we haven’t yet delved into how to handle the things you CAN’T hide, like your friends posting photos of your more intimate wedding events. Here’s how Offbeat Bride Tribe moderator, Foxes.in.sockses, took on her situation.

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A butch bridentity crisis: pretending I don’t care

I am butch. I have short hair and don’t wear bling, or dresses, or sexy underwear, and love button-downs, and am a martial artist… I occupy “masculine” on the public radar. I am very excited for the wedding. but at the end of the day I am damn excited to put on fancy clothes and say nice things to my gentleman and eat awesome food and have our parents meet each other and get my relationship validated by our families. So, why am I so determined to pretend I don’t care?

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Am I still offbeat if I love white chair covers? (Hint: YES.)

Not long after I joined the Offbeat Bride Tribe, another member posted her feelings about the more traditional elements of her wedding. Ariel posted a reply stating that this issue comes up every year or so and she finds it’s best to let Tribe members figure it out for themselves.

Wise words, Ariel. I didn’t get it at the time, but the last six months have been a journey for me, a journey of discovery about myself, about my future husband and about the US we have created. If I could sum it up in one line, it would be:

I LIKE WHITE CHAIR COVERS AND I CANNOT LIE.

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Why do couples borrow cultural elements for their wedding, and how can you do so respectfully?

Many Anglo-Americans have such a mishmash of culture that they have few or no traditions that hold significant meaning for them. Perhaps people are inclined to like culture, symbolism, rituals, and traditions. Maybe they seek these out in other cultures because they don’t have any of their own. Perhaps people seek to set themselves apart from a family or culture that they don’t wish to be a part of or celebrate.

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Open expectations: stop wanting the perfect wedding

Since I got engaged, I’ve been saying that I have “open expectations,” a phrase I learned here on Offbeat Bride. (Correct use of the term “open expectations” could be something like, “My expectations are not low, they are open.”) At thirty-three days to go until my wedding, I’ve learned that the best thing about open expectations is this…