Category Archive

Philosophizing

How do you feel about your wedding? What does it all mean? How does wedding planning a metaphor for the rest of your life?

wedding stress mug on offbeat wed alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Wedding stress: why is everyone stressed out but me?

I had an almost “Anti-Bridezilla” moment — “I don’t care which shade of teal they are! If I’m not dealing with wedding stress, why is everyone else stressing?!”

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This is some powerful shit: the wedding planning process as a rite of passage

When my love and I decided to start wedding planning back in January, we had NO IDEA what we were getting into. I honestly thought that as a new bride, the “collective community” would gently take my hand, congratulate me on this sacred time in my life, and ask me questions that would invoke my heart space to create my wedding day.

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Is it possible to have a feminist wedding?

I have a Masters in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. In other words, I’m a professional feminist. I had been with my partner for ten years when he proposed, and while it somehow came as a shock, there was no doubt in my mind that I absolutely wanted to marry him. Like any crafty member of my generation would, I desperately started googling “feminist wedding,” a fruitless endeavor. So what was going on? My entire identity had been built around feminism, so why was it that I was contradicting my own beliefs?

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Who the hell cares: important lessons from partners who aren’t as interested in wedding planning

One detail that’s been plaguing me ever since I bought my dress has been figuring out what I’m going to do with the length. So I go back and forth, back and forth, on this decision. The past six weeks or so, I was gung-ho about getting it shortened. Then, one night, I was telling my partner about how I was once again reconsidering. While I listed out the pros and cons of leaving my dress full-length, I could see his eyes begin to glaze over. “Mm-hmm,” he said as I talked, stifling a yawn. Which was when I realized: Who the hell cares?

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What’s the opposite of Bridezilla? 4 ways wedding planning made me a better person

I did not expect to learn so much about self-confidence when I started this whole wedding thing. (Even though I needed SOME self-confidence to even make the proposal in the first place.) While other people have written about how wedding planning helped them learn to say “no” to people who kept making demands. Me? I’ve learned to say “yes” to myself.

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Anticipating and accepting Judgy McJudgersons, or: why I should stop reading websites that are bad for my mental health

I feel happy in the Tribe and reading Offbeat Bride, because we’re all on our best behavior. We’re supportive, even when someone does something we wouldn’t do. But sometimes, I go and do the Bad Thing where I read Other Websites that Make Me Feel Bad. Why do I do this? Why can’t I stop? I think I do it because it feeds the Insecurity Monster inside of me.