Queer femme hearts trans man: the legitimacy of love
Being fully, unapologetically ourselves comes with risks and can be both contentious and dangerous. We are violated, belittled, deprived of love, victimized, isolated and left wanting… both by larger systems and communities, and by people we thought we could trust. Amidst the pain or discomfort, we have to remember that there is hope.
The top 5 post-wedding feels that have completely blindsided me, and what I’m doing about them
Or: “Mary goes through it so you don’t have to!” Or: “Married life is way less thrilling than I was anticipating so I’m going to write a post as if I’m giving someone else advice about the situation I happen to find myself in.”
When family tragedy strikes during wedding planning
To every cloud there is a silver lining — and the silver lining to my father’s stroke and the fear that we were going to lose him was that when, five months later (six months until the wedding), my fiancé’s mother died suddenly and unexpectedly. I was much better equipped to understand what he was going through. And I was better able to support him. In those first few days after she died we talked about many things, some trivial and some very important…
I’m Jewish, he’s an atheist: Intermarriage, and what I have to leave behind
I’m the daughter of a rabbi and a cantor (and the stepdaughter of yet another rabbi!), sent to Jewish day school as a child, raised Conservative, and while I’m unsure about my personal beliefs, my identity as a Jew has always and will always be super important to me. Just my luck the love of my life turned out to be an atheist…
Pics or it didn’t happen: Celebration versus validation
Between making sure my makeup is “photo-worthy” to chronicling the planning progress (Offbeat Bride, you are my enabler!), the era of instant documentation and weddings is a match made in heaven. Who doesn’t want an excuse to show off pictures of their wedding day? Now you have a reason to take photos of the knitting project you’ve been toiling over for months. Who doesn’t love to get feedback from others fawning over your dress, décor, music, etc? But when does celebrating a day become validating an event?
Why you should embrace your wedding jealousy
About one-and-a-half years into what is shaping up to be a four-year engagement, my future brother-in law proposed to his then-girlfriend. I love these people very, very much, so naturally, I was filled with excitement, happiness, love, and… jealousy? I was filled with guilt about my reactions. It ate into me, and fighting them caused me hours of anxiety. It got to a point where the positive emotions I did feel were getting blotted out. So, I just gave in to my jealousy. I embraced the emotion and allowed myself to fully experience it…