Nicole & Josh’s glamorous theatrical homebrewed wedding

The Offbeat Bride: Nicole, actress, personal trainer, and waiter (Tribesmaid)

Her offbeat partner: Josh, rigging and theatre technician for Disneyland

Date and location of wedding: Stone Hall, Benicia Historical Museum, Benicia, CA — February 8, 2014

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: Josh and I have known each other since 7th grade when we met in a theater production. When we were thinking of a theme to our wedding, I wanted to incorporate my vintage style into a wedding that truly reflected the two of us and our passions, but still be fun and unpretentious, leading us to the theatre theme and mixing it with amazing BBQ and my dad's beer. We also encouraged vintage-style attire in our guests (time period was left to their discretion!)

We saved a ton of money by scouring Craigslist and the bridal blog classifieds and then DIYing our decorations. We started to think of the setup as “load-in,” the wedding rehearsal as “dress rehearsal,” and the wedding day as “opening night.” The party itself had some swing music mixed with traditional party songs so that we could swing dance a little.

We got rid of traditions that made no sense to us. I'm a feminist, but wanted to honor my parents, so I was walked down the aisle by both of my parents and there was no language about being “given for marriage.” We didn't smash cake and we didn't do a garter toss. I ended up doing a gender-neutral bridal bouquet toss at the last minute because I felt like it.

Tell us about the ceremony:
My aunt did a very quick 10-minute ceremony, since we had our guests stand under a very grey and potentially rainy sky. The wedding party walked in to “I Walk the Line” by Johnny Cash, and I walked down the aisle with my mother and father to a string version of “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes,” a song which appeared in a Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire film.

I asked Josh's sister, who is also a wonderful actress, to read a selection from my favorite (and most romantic in THE WORLD) play, Cyrano de Bergerac. Josh has sent me notes and bouquets and signed them, “From your Cyrano,” so you can imagine how this reading affected me.

That feeling that overwhelms me,
Fearsome, possessive, is love all right: it has all
The madness and sadness of love, and still, it isn't
A selfish thing: God knows, I'd gladly give up
All of my hopes of happiness for yours,
Whether the news of it would ever reach you.
All I would want would be the sound of your laughter,
Heard in the distance, and knowing I'd freed you to laugh.
All that I need is the look in your eyes, and bravery
Springs up inside me.

Our biggest challenge:

My biggest challenge was navigating the wants and needs of the people closest to me. There were moments when I would inadvertently upset someone over something I thought was tiny, and it would baffle me. Communication was really key, as was being understanding and knowing when to let things go. I had to understand that even if something didn't make sense to me, if I could live with making a change, then I would. And I found out how important it was to sometimes bitch to objective parties so any bitterness I had wouldn't come out at the wrong time and damage a relationship that was precious to me.

Our second biggest challenge was budget. We did have some help, but we refused to go into debt. I spent HOURS looking for the cheapest possible option for the vision I had and figuring out how expensive it would be to simply do it ourselves versus buying it. I thought that in hindsight, I'd feel silly about spending that much time looking for cylinder vases in the right height at the price I wanted to pay, but I won't lie to you… when I finally ended my search with a woman willing to sell me her used ones after her wedding, it was totally worth it!

My favorite moment:
Josh's vows have to rank at the top. He claims he is not a man of words, but they were the most beautiful and meaningful to us and I had to work to not bawl.

The other most meaningful moment couldn't be really described as part of the wedding necessarily, because the entire outcome of the wedding was a huge group effort. All the curtains were made and put together by Josh's mom. My father brewed all of the beer and made the candelabra stands, and donated his theatrical nutcrackers to decorate. My mother made all of the table label signs and pretty much everything else that was framed. Josh made the marquee letters. All the girls worked on the flowers together. A dear friend came early on the day of to light all the candles and scatter the flowers. On the setup day, everyone in the wedding party arrived right on time and worked incredibly hard. One of the groomsmen volunteered to DJ.

All the desserts were donated, including an incredible three-tiered cake made by my uncle. As we drew closer to the day, I got many phone calls updating me on the status of the projects and reassuring me that it was all coming together, and I couldn't believe how lucky we were to have so much help.

My funniest moment:
My father/daughter dance song was a surprise for my dad. I chose “Put It There, Pal,” a song sung by Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. It appeared in their movie The Road to Utopia, which is one of our favorites. My dad and I know that song by heart and sing it together all the time, and it's really cheeky. Instead of just dancing to it, my dad and I also started to act out the song. Everyone thought it was rehearsed, but it was totally improvised.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

• Photography: Nima Salimi
• Dress: a used San Patrick Calais from The Glamour Closet
• Veil: Gilded Shadows
• Shoes: Aerosoles
• Catering: Tammy Anderson Catering

Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!

About the Author: Offbeat Weditors

@offbeatbride @offbeatwed

Working tirelessly to bring you stimulating content day after day, the Offbeat Wed editors will not sleep until you've gotten your offbeat fix.