Since I got engaged, I’ve been saying that I have “open expectations,” an idea that was inspired by Offbeat Bride. I tend to use the phrase like this: “My expectations are not low — they are open.”
A corollary to enjoying open expectations might be working on a tight budget or desiring to not micromanage; both are true for me, but certainly wouldn’t have to be for others. I bet open expectations could be a helpful philosophy regardless of one’s situation.
At thirty-three days to go until my wedding, I’ve learned that the best thing about open expectations is this:
Open expectations get met beyond what you could have come up with or hoped for.
My standing answer to the question of “can I do something for your wedding?” has been “yes!” Something I wouldn’t have been able to do if my expectations had been more rigid.
- Can a master gardener who knew my step-father when he was in Sunday school, and has never met me make a floral arrangement, for free? Hells yeah.
- Can my brother’s close friend from high school fold us a thousand paper cranes? God yes!
- Can my parents bring guacamole for everyone, since my partner and I don’t like guacamole, and were opposed to spending our limited budget on it? Sure! Why ever not!
I didn’t ask for any of these things. I didn’t hint that we needed them, because we didn’t. No one “needs” a thousand paper cranes, but let me tell you, receiving that gift felt pretty fucking phenomenal.
I really hope that after the wedding I’ll be able to carry my open expectations into married life. Open expectations for marriage: I anticipate we shall rock them.
