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The Offbeat Bride: Natalie, Registered Nurse (and Tribesmaid)
Her offbeat partner: Mark, Swim Instructor and Triathlon Coach
Date and location of wedding: Ewing Uniting Church, Malvern and RACV Country Club in Healesville, Victoria, Australia — March 9th, 2013
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: We both had things that were important to us. Mark wanted to be married in a church of his family's faith by the ministers he has known since he was younger, runners for the first dance, and trying to minimise the bird decor. I wanted something other than a giant white frock, no weight loss insanity, and awesome food. For everything else, we let people run with it. After looking at what our vendors did, I remain convinced it was the right move.
After a few hiccups at the beginning of our wedding planning, Mark and I made the decision that this wedding was going to be as stress-free as we could possibly make it. As a control-freak by nature, this was a steep learning curve for me, but has actually made life overall a lot easier to deal with. If I can't control it, I don't dwell on it.
Tell us about the ceremony:
Given that we were married in a Uniting Church, we went with a pretty standard religious ceremony, but picked readings and hymns that we liked. We worded our vows to reflect what we wanted for our marriage (none of this “obey” business). Given that this was something that was important to Mark, I took a back seat, unless something made me really uncomfortable. My brother gave a secular reading, and Mark's brother gave a reading from Ruth (1:16-17) that was a reflection of how we want our relationship to be.
Our biggest challenge:
I come from a family of curvy women, and dieting and weight loss were always a focus when I was growing up. I've been at the point where I'm confident and happy with how I look for a long time. The focus for me is getting my body fit so that it can do what I want it to (come at me, five-day hike!), regardless of what my weight does in the mean time.
Wedding weight loss: fighting pressure to lose weight for your wedding
All of my anxieties about my mother scrutinizing my weight all through the engagement process ("No wedding dresses are going to look attractive on you... Read more
At the beginning of wedding planning, the inevitable “how much weight are you going to lose for your wedding” discussions came up. It took a very frank conversation about how those comments made me feel, and why I'll be getting married at whatever weight I am on the day, following a particularly embarrassing Facebook comment for the discussions to end. Now this is no longer a topic of conversation, and my relationships are a lot better because of it.
My favorite moment:
My dad had said before the wedding that he didn't want to make a speech. He's a quiet guy by nature, so I had been expecting that. Then he surprised us all by giving a heartfelt, off-the-cuff speech! I was also surprised that he had always had a song in mind for the father/daughter dance, too. SO MANY FEELS!
Chilling out for a picnic in the park for our photos was a genius idea, too. It was peaceful, I was smart enough to pack a cooler, and we got to chill out before heading to the reception. Kudos to our photographer, Kim Cartmell, for this suggestion.
My funniest moment:
We had some funny challenges: my cat ripped a hole in my veil, last-minute underwear reconsideration given the temperatures (thank you, Modcloth!), the car had to be changed the day before the wedding, as it wouldn't make it in the heat, the minister dropped the rings during the ceremony (cue mad fumbling trying to find them), the family candles refusing to light, etc. So many LOLs. Most of our wedding photos are of us laughing our heads off.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
Learning to negotiate family dynamics, finding areas where your opinions differ, identifying what each of you considers important — wedding planning is just a rehearsal for marriage. We look at our marriage as two individuals who choose to go through life together. Knowing that we each have love and support from the other in whatever it is we're doing gives me a great deal of strength, and to let go of all the little things that I shouldn't be wasting my energy on.
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Reception venue: RACV Country Club Healesville
- Dress: Heather Sellick
- Photographer: Kim Cartmell
- Flowers, centerpieces, and small green animals: Debbie O'Neill
- Mini tea hearts: Teas
Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!
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I can’t believe that we live in a world where women have to feel pressure to take up the smallest amount of space possible. Brides come in all shapes and sizes and I’ve never seen an ugly bride on OBB. Your wedding looks like it was a great start to a marriage.
A) You’re STUNNINGLY beautiful. Holy crap.
B) Your wedding looks like it was a blast!
Wow girl, you and your hubby are beautiful and what great dress. Looks like your wedding was full of joy!
I love the dress, the socks and the little touches everywhere, but, what I love the most is how happy you both look. The love you both share shines in every single picture and the way you look at each other makes MY heart smile.
Wow, I have to second Elizabeth’s comment – you are incredibly beautiful, and your dress is stunning!
Also, I like Jammy Fancies (Jammie Dodgers in the UK) too! 🙂 What a fab idea! 🙂
That dress. TO DIE FOR.
In the photo where they’re dancing and she’s spinning and the DRESS? Amazing.
Wow that dress is amazing! Love the arrival car too!
You look gorgeous! Beautiful wedding! As a fellow curvy gal, I applaud your decision to be comfortable with who you are and not cave in to societal pressure to change yourself for your wedding. Congratulations!
That dress!!
*highfive!!!*
You rock on with your bad selves!
Perfect attitude! Your groom proposed they way you were, he should marry that same person!
Admittedly I am wary of looking back at pictures and wishing I could have been the most perfect version of myself as possible – but then it hit me, I’m not going to torture myself after a wedding to achieve an unnatural size for my frame/size and I’d like to look like the person in my wedding pictures. Plus my partner loves my curvy bits, and I can get a dress that suits my shape instead of a dress I have to fit to. 🙂
PS, you look stunning! You’ve got the cheek apples I’m jealous of! Mine are just the puffy hamster cheek kind, hehe
Just what I needed after a bad dress fitting yesterday. I too am curvy and usually I am comfortable with myself. I had a bit of melt down at the dress makers yesterday letting the hype get to me about being thin. My also curvy dressmaker was so comforting assuring me I am beuatiful. I need to soak up your confidence.
What a pretty bride and handsome groom! You are rockin those curves girlfriend, I love your bod and am so glad you are happy and confident and didn’t buy into the wedding-weight-loss bullshit.
Also HIGH FIVES for Aussie weddings wahhooooo! (and damn that weird early September heat wave, it was a total killer up here in QLD)
I’m in love with that dress, and I don’t think anyone could have worn it better than you. Congrats!
Love your dress! You both look absolutely adorable too and the pictures show a beautiful fun day. I hope mine turn out this great!
Natalie, your dress is SUPERB!!
(Also, I may steal the picnic idea for photos^^)
You are both adorable, and I LOVE your dress! Also your cake and the general decor. What a beautiful wedding! Best of everything in your life together 🙂
So gorgeous! I loved the dress…better than that all the happy smiles!
Also, High Five from another Aussie Bride…specifically one that’s in the same area (Woot Yarra Valley)! Our wedding was in the depths of the warmest winter!
I ADORE your dress!!!! And your spirit! And the all the laughing! Lovely lovely!!!
Amazing all around! I love it simply elegant. Thanks for sharing your wedding porn (and recommendations…I love what I saw on ModCloth!)…I loved all the little details. And can I just say I love the fact that you were dancing bare foot! I too love to be bare foot which is why I notice goofy details like that 🙂
Kudos to you for sticking up for yourself! The wedding was fabulous and you looked amazing.
OHHEY! I know where that church is, and I had a look at the RACV country club! Hello, fellow Melbournite!
I love the picnic idea, you all look so calm and happy.
I looooove that picnic idea. Perf. We’re eloping in an arboretum in Boston, and I’m pretty sure this is gonna happen now.
You’re gorgeous. You remind me of a very close friend whom I love dearly.
Heat resistant plus size underwear?! Do tell!!
You look absolutely gorgeous! That dress flatters your lovely curves beautifully. Most of all your beautiful smile is just contagious you look relaxed and enjoying your day congratulations 🙂
Ooohhhh i know where that RACV club is…….my family comes from around there ? totally love your dress you look so good.