So, we were sent a wedding trend report press release, and half of it was slightly interesting and the other half was just full of WTF-ery. Most notably this little gem:
Wedding Food
In: Global meats
Out: Bacon, bacon, bacon
“Lean global meats like goat, kangaroo, antelope and horse will be big,” predicts [name redacted], whose clients include Will Smith, Kelly Ripa and Regis Philbin.
Of course, after we giggled over the term “global meats,” Ariel took it to our readers — “According to a press release we just got, ‘global meats’ is the hot new wedding trend. GLOBAL MEATS!!” — hilarity ensued. Here are a few of our favorite exchanges:
Amanda: Only the jet-settingest meats will do!
Ariel: I gotcher GLOBAL MEAT right here, ladies. (Yeah, I said it)
Caroline: I think I’ll stick with agoraphobic veggies.
Laura: I smell a new Pinterest board! (Seriously. You can smell it!)
Ariel: Dude you guys: eating goat flesh out of a mason jar is SO hot right now.
Sariah: We’re importing only the finest antelope from the Savannah a la Lion King for our wedding!
Sarah: ”Now remember, Simba. When we die, our bodies become the grass. And the antelope eat the grass. Grass-fed antelope is all the rage right now in those American weddings. Thus continues the Circle of Life.”
Megan: If I get another wedding invitation with a menu selection of “chicken or steak” I’m gonna cross it out and write “global meats or GTFO!”
Stefanie: because nothing says i love you like eating animals you might find in a zoo
And, come on guys, global meats as a trend? Really?
(Be sure to check out our takes on OTHER wedding trends.)
