DonnaMarie & Ricky’s unholy union and heavy metal cabaret wedding

The offbeat bride: DonnaMarie, FDNY Paramedic

Her offbeat partner: Ricky, Concierge

Date and location of wedding: Crash Mansion, Bowery, NYC — November 13, 2010

What made our wedding offbeat: As a musician who had spent almost her entire adult life performing in clubs, it seemed like a no-brainer to get married in one. Of course my band would get to play, but that wasn’t enough. I figured that, since so many of my friends were performers themselves, I’d just go all out and make it wedding and a cabaret night just to show them off.

For starters, the wedding itself was performed by my friend Corinne, a former dominatrix-turned-Reverend. My friend Anthony doused the crowd with glitter as my Flower Girl. (Or Glitter Boy, whichever you prefer.) In lieu of flower centerpieces, I bought vintage games like Hungry Hungry Hippos, Operation, Perfection, Connect Four, and Battleship and placed them on the tables for the guests to play.

The favors were empty beer bottles cut in half and filled with rock and roll supplies (custom shot glasses, guitar picks, condoms, ear plugs, and lighters) and were put in brown paper bags, personalized, and strewn throughout the club for each guest to find.

Additionally, two of our guests showed up in the vintage baby blue and neon orange tuxedos from the movie Dumb and Dumber, complete with top hats and canes.

My band took the stage at some point and surprised Ricky with a cover of Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters,” and it was the first time in almost 20 years that my parents had seen me perform.

Our cake was our only splurge. It was the scene from Ghostbusters where the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man steps on the church, and Ricky and I are the Ghostbusters shooting him on top of the apartment building. The phasers actually lit up and blinked!

Then we had the “Heavy Metal Cabaret Afterparty” with belly dancers, a sideshow carny, a fan dancer, cabaret singer, ukulele player, and two sets by my metal band, the missing.

Tell us about the ceremony: You can see it on video!

Our biggest challenge: The biggest challenge was cost, but we got around that in a number of ways. We paid for the wedding entirely on our own, and as a result, we were able to limit our guest list to just the friends and family we really wanted, and no one could argue because they weren’t paying for it. So there was no lady-who-works-with-my-mother or distant-cousin-I-hadn’t-seen-in-ten-years. The headcount was small and, as a result, very personal and affordable.

For liquor, we realized that most of our guests wouldn’t ask for things like a Grey Goose martini, they would ask for a vodka martini. So instead of wasting money on top shelf across the board, we went with mid-grade/call, which meant that standard mixed drinks used a decent liquor, but top shelf could still be had by the few who requested it.

For food, we went with passed cocktail trays and a nice buffet which saved a mint, not to mention that a big, sit-down meal would have been kind of awkward in a rock and roll club. It also suited our vegetarian friends much better.

My favorite moment: Our vows. We made our own, and we both insisted that they be unrehearsed. They turned out to be short, sweet, and very moving while also managing to contain a fair amount of hilarity. And I’m fairly certain it was of the kind that’s not appropriate to reiterate here.

My funniest moment: Probably our first dance. We didn’t have anything planned except the song, which was “No Children” by The Mountain Goats. But somehow we both started acting out these really funny lyrics, and it turned into a little show.

My advice for offbeat brides: As The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy would say: “DON’T PANIC.” Don’t sweat the small stuff. Things are going to screw up, just don’t get your panties in a bunch about it and you’ll still have a good time.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

• Photography: Angela Cappetta
• Bride’s dress: designed by Tova Marc of Wedding Dress Fantasy
• Venue: The Crash Mansion club (alas!) is now closed
• Cake: Charm City Cakes
• Custom guitar picks: In Tune guitar Picks
• Wedding video: Bryan Sarkinen
• Wedding website: Wix.com
• Fog machine and fog juice: Vortex Chillers and Froggy’s Fog
• DJ and officiant: DJ Trevor (one of NYC’s top gothic-industrial DJs) and

Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!