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The offbeat bride: Jill, Admin Asst Extraordinaire
Her offbeat partner: Kimeee, Web Admin
Location & date of wedding: Red Apple Farm in Phillipston, MA — 6/27/09
What made our wedding offbeat: The most offbeat thing: the proposal — Kimeee proposed to me at a Halloween event dressed as the Hamburgler and I was dressed as Mr. Peanut… the ring was hidden inside a Big Mac box.
We didn't have a lot of money nor were all of my family willing to acknowledge or participate, so we knew right from the beginning this was gonna be DIY to the max — just the way we like it. Kim made the Save the Dates and the wedding invites with extra paper we happened to have. We also knew we couldn't afford to pay for a wedding and a honeymoon, so we decided that our friends would understand and we created a site where, instead of giving us gifts, people could donate to our honeymoon if they wanted.
Some of our friends are not dancing enthusiasts so we had games, temporary tattoos, and home made mad libs at all the tables so everyone could have a good time.
We didn't like the idea of a wedding shower or engagement party so instead we went to a local dive bar, got a bunch of fake mustaches and sang karaoke for a pre-wedding bash.
I wrote the ceremony based on a children's book, tweaked with a few Simpsons references, a promise to provide chocolate ice cream, and even a call and response section where our guests had to yell “woot woot!” I was so worried my older relatives would think we were being to silly but everyone kept saying “that was so you!”
Our biggest challenge: The hardest part was accepting that some very close family members were not going to come to the wedding. Once we realized that was not going to change, we really organized the wedding for us and the people who have supported us.
When you have a gay wedding I feel like there is far less pressure to stick to old fashioned traditions. Many of our older guests had never been to a gay wedding so they honestly didn't know what to expect. So we were able to start from scratch and create some new traditions. We did have to remind ourselves a few times that making the food perfect or the tables really ornate did not affirm that our wedding was just as meaningful as a straight wedding. I knew we had accomplished what we set out to do when everyone kept saying what a wonderful wedding it was.
My favorite moment: Snuggling with my new wife and reading all the Mad Libs that our guests wrote… and seeing grandmas show off their temporary tattoos!
My offbeat advice: Donation wedding sites are not tacky! I think that parents refusing to attend because there isn't a groom involved is tacky. But there is nothing wrong with telling your friends and family who love you that instead of gifts they can choose to donate so that you can have a honeymoon. Besides, the peeps that made up those TRADITIONAL wedding rules often had their parents shelling out thousands of dollars for one day.
For those of you who take care of everyone else… relax. I promise, if you can have one day where everyone will take care of themselves, make it this day. I spent so much time pre-wedding worrying about old feuds between friends, if the guests in recovery were going to feel comfortable with other guests drinking, etc, etc. But once the day got there everyone was social and smiling and jumping in to help every step of the way. Actually it made me realize I can ask for help more often!
Make sure to give your bride/groom/partner lots of kisses pre-wedding because you may drive them insane.
Dollar Store!!!! They have tons of goodies.
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:
- Dress: Anthropolgie
- Venue: Red Apple Farm — This is a 3 generations owned apple orchard that has a beautiful barn available for events. The Rose family was so sweet and helpful. And the price was very reasonable!
About the Author: Offbeat Weditors
Working tirelessly to bring you stimulating content day after day, the Offbeat Wed editors will not sleep until you've gotten your offbeat fix.
*Applause* full proof you don't need lots of silly nonsense to have a day with meaning; I love the mad libs and the photo booth. I'm sad that your family didn't attend, not because they weren't there, but because they can't see the obvious love and commitment in your life. A real shame, but I have to say, best engagement picture ever. Tee hee. Congratulations to both of you.
Your words on "Our Biggest Challenge" are very wise and brave! I am happy for your happiness.
On another note… homemade mad libs = BRILLIANT. I'd love to hear more about this and your other DIY projects.
CONGRATULATIONS!
😀
I love the proposal pictures. So cute!
Congratulations!
Wow…you guys ROCK! As one who is never at a loss for words…I'm struggling to find the right words to reflect the beautiful, intimate, fun time you had. Wow…just. Wow. And the rainbow? How'd you arrange that? LOVE IT! Love you both and many many MANY years of happiness to your union. YOU GUYS ROCK!!! *hugs* *hugs*
:*
Jill: AKA, the bride
Thanks guys thats so sweet. As for DIY stuff, all the mad libs are actually printed on stickers that we will…eventually…stick into a home made wedding album with pics and comments. I have a serious obsession with mad libs so kim made up some basic plots involving how we met…we took pictures of the G Rated ones of course.
We found fake milk jugs at the christmas tree shop and got some cheap wild flowers at a whole sale flower place. having the wedding in a barn made it super easy to get that country look for cheap. We pooled all our friends christmas lights to hang around the barn. I made kim's corssage out of tissue paper. but the whoopie pies, or Gobs as they are called in PA, were the best part. our friend's grandma, mother, and aunt spent hours making those and hitched them in a cooler on the back of their car all the way from PA…omg…the Brewers totally know how to cook. Plus it was their first gay wedding…i think gram brewer was more excited than I was!
This was one of my favorite reads on here!
Hello all. This is Kimeee (aka the other bride). Just wanted to echo Jill's thanks to all the lovely comments.
Also wanted to say a little from my perspective about offbeat weddings and the pressure to conform.
Even though Jill and I as a couple skew toward the more offbeat anyway, and at least for myself I feel I tend to be a non-conformist, I found it very stressful during the early stages of planning trying to balance preconceptions everyone has about weddings and our desires to break with traditions and norms.
It was definitely a give and take. While we had burgers and hotdogs for dinner, had fun with sparklers, and had our moms be our ring bearers, I also did something extremely traditional in asking Jill's mother permission to ask for her hand. While that last was meaningful to both Jill's mom and I and I don't regret that I did, I do sometimes look back on it and think about where that tradition comes from and fight with my feelings about it.
I guess long story short, after all the cake is eaten, the toasts are given, the dances are danced and you walk away a married couple, it's all about one and one becoming two. IT'S YOUR DAY (OR NIGHT) SO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIVES!
Jill and Kimeee, congratulations. Your wedding (and proposal) were both deeply awesome, and surely your marriage will be, too.
Woot! Woot!
ADORABLE AND DELIGHTFUL! Thanks for reminding me what weddings are all about! PS- word to Massachusetts! And sparklers!
I LOVE your "offbeat advice"! Everything you said was right on! Oh and I LOVE the giant whoopie pie!!! Awesome!
I LOVE the Mad Libs! I so want to have them at my reception, what a great, great idea!
I love all the unqiue touches, mad libs is such a great idea! I may try that at my reception.
I think your advice is really great as well, to gay or straight couples. To be honest, my fiance is the first boyfriend I've ever had. I was convinced that I would marry my girlfriend before him, and had only dated women. He just happened, and regardless of gender I know that I found my other half. Anyway, my point is- I've been on both sides of the family approval thing, it's really hard to not have people want to share in the celebration of your love, but it really seems like you took all the good from it and kept in mind what truly matters- each other! Kudos to you, m'dear!
LOVE the save the dates. Mmmm… giant whoopie pie…..
I'm totally stealing the madlibs idea.
madlibs, now why didn't I think of that?
The double heart stickers remind me of Time Lords. Which is extra awesome.
Woot woot!
Woot woot! This made me tear up because it was so genuine and full of love. Being a lesbian and engaged myself, you two inspire me. Thank you for the advise, and for being a reminder to stay true to what marriage is all about! Love love love is all I have for you two and I wish you the best!
I LOVE YOU TWO… and to think the whoopie pie picture made the "cut"….I just want you both to know that there is a spot in Hooversville that you can come and stay any time…..and Mark and I will be honorary parents any time…..love ya….
oh man the whoopie pie was the star of the show! me and kim totally want to be adopted into the Brewer clan. cant wait to see you guys in may!
I've added your advice to my OBT page.
It really hits home with me. I'm always trying to help people.
Goats?
Goats.
You crazy kids made me cry! I'm sorry to hear that folks did not want to support your ceremony, but from the looks of the pics, you 2 are blessed to have so many people that DO!! Congrats!
And I am totally stealing your Mad Lib idea!!!
Hope the lady picking her wedgie in the background of one of your pictures has a great sense of humor :0
I have never heard of an engagement story as unique as that! All I have to say is AWESOME!!!
AH! I love your save the dates! I am going to start drawing me right now with caricatures of me and my dude. i.e. guy with huge CHOPS and girl with blue hair! hehehe
Wow, you guys are going to have tons of fantastic photos to choose from to put up in your home and stick in albums! It looks like you two had a fantastic day! Congratulations and many years of happiness and love to you both!
i love it, but does the site typically headline womens' weddings as "lesbian wedding"? that seems really, really weird to me.
I'm copying and pasting this comment by Ariel from another blog post:
"I make a point with all the weddings I feature to let the couple self-identify themselves. (For example, we would never label anyone's wedding as "nerdy," but if they want to call it that — then amen!)"
So, while I very much appreciate the values and motivation behind [your] concern, this particular situation isn't an instance of someone being labeled. It's self-identification — and the way I see it, since it's their wedding, she can call it whatever she wants. 🙂
I heart love too! 🙂 Congratulations to you both. Looks like a beautiful day and a wonderful way to share your love with your friends and family. It heartens me to hear that both your mums were involved. Plus I love the spelling of "Kimeee" with three "e's" – sounds like it would be fun every time you say it 😀
Congrats, ladies! I love the Mad Libs so hardcore – might have to convince the missus to adopt something like that for our wedding. 😀
Congratulations! You both look so happy together, and I wish you every happiness for the rest of your lives. 🙂
fake moustache karaoke FTW!
OK, this is incredibly dumb of me, but I actually got a little teary-eyed when I saw the Save The Date card. SO CUTE.
What a wonderful wedding! Made even more exciting for me because my dear friend Bethany was there. I also think I met Kimeee briefly on my last trip to Boston. <3 the mad libs, <3 the silly costume pieces and the photo booth, <3 the goats! Rock on.
Apples to apples!! That made me smile so much! Also, I love, love, love the photo booth and costume idea. Hilarious!