Thanks to Cassandra for sending me a link to this New York Magazine article:
Attack of the Indiezilla
When getting married becomes an elaborate display of unharnessed self-expression, the result is a wedding that doesn't look like a wedding at all.
The article peeves me a bit, and it's not just the title or the subhead's suggestion that if your wedding doesn't look traditional, it somehow doesn't count. For instance, there's this incredibly weak argument:
One potential problem with planning a wedding without the support of the wedding-industrial complex is just that: the lack of support … Doing things your own way often means doing things yourself.
In other words, you should go the traditional route because it's easier. Well, perhaps that's true. But it's fucking sad and makes me angry. So, you should buy into traditions that degrade you because it's easier? You should spend a fortune on overpriced crap because it's easier? You should let someone else define your marriage because it's easier? You should go to Disneyland on your honeymoon instead of hiking in Costa Rica because it's easier?
It's always easier to use a template rather than making something from scratch. But when you find the template offensive, tacky, overpriced, overdone, or just plain not you, the time investment is worth it.
The article's not all bad, though. It echoes several themes in the book, including the “It Takes A Village” concept — as they say: delegate, delegate, delegate! You don't necessarily need a coordinator, but you do need a support team to lighten your load..
And the piece includes a bit of sane wisdom from Lori, the beloved founder of Indiebride.com:
“It's really easy for anybody, no matter what kind of wedding they're planning, to get caught up. Like any big production, a wedding takes a lot of time and effort. And there is so much pressure to make this event ‘the best day of your life.' So if you get a little unhinged, I forgive you. It happened to me; it's happened to almost everyone I know.”
In other words: don't freak out if you're freaking out. It happens to everyone. Deep breath.