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Holy hell. My brain almost exploded from the gorgeousness and sheer amazatude of Aly and Elroi's stunning wedding in Atlanta.
The wedding photography was done by Our Labor of Love and must have cost a fortune because it's stunning.
Aly had a handmade blue dress, and the bad-ass wedding party, Elroi's smile, and the officiant, and the bird-topped cake that matches the bride's dress, the vegetarian menu, and and and…! It's one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever seen, gay or straight.
The groom Elroi gave us some great advice about talking to family about your genderqueer wedding
Good lord, the world is small. I attended a queer femme conference a couple of years ago, and the workshop that literally changed my life was the one where Aly sat on the panel. Glad those two crazy kids are making a go of it. 🙂
I remember seeing this on kvetch! Definitely awesome.
It feels weird being just some random reader commenting on this, but I think this needs to be said, so I’m just gonna say it:
I think you need to pay some attention to the gender characterizations you use in this post.
If you read Aly’s posts on kvetch, you will see that “lesbian wedding” and “two brides” are really not the most appropriate ways to characterize this (beautiful!) wedding. (She refers to Elroi as genderqueer and uses male pronouns for him. Doesn’t sound to me like someone who should be described as a lesbian.)
I know this may seem trivial, and I may be totally out of line saying anything, but I believe this is too important not to say something. If we in the “alternative” community can’t even respect people’s gender identifications enough to make sure to get them right, how can we expect others to?
MM, it’s absolutely appropriate to bring up these issues. Both my mother and mother-in-law are gay, so I’m certainly sensitive to the topic — I just didn’t catch that Elroi was genderqueer. I suppose it should be telling that in their engagement story there is never a gender pronoun for Elroi, but I just didn’t catch it. Looks like they go into the issue in depth in this feature, actually.
I’ve made changes accordingly to the post, changing the title from “lesbian” to “gay” (which is how Aly and Elroi identify themselves on their wedsite), and referring to “the couple” instead of “the two brides.”
Thanks again for bringing this to my attention — I must have been too distracted by the photos.
[scurries off to drool over the gallery again]
Hey Ariel! Thanks for including us in your fabulous blog! I perused your amazing site quite a bit in my own planning process.
Also, I wanted to say to Molly- your comment made me do a little dance! I’m so glad our panel made a difference for you!
As per the pronoun/identity discussion, we use the word ‘gay’ playfully, almost slang-like, but we both identify as queer. While I refer to Elroi with masculine pronouns, various people in El’s life do refer to him by both masculine and feminine pronouns and he’s generally ok with that as long as he’s not girl-ified as in, “Hey, girl!”.
In print, he would prefer to go by gender-neutral pronouns such as ‘ze’ or ‘hir’. In an ideal world those pronouns would work for speech too but whenever I try to use them I end up feeling like I’m faking an accent, ala Madonna or something. 🙂
Also, I showed El this blog and he was thrilled to see us included but especially to see folks discussing his gender in such supportive ways! He’s a sociologist focused on sex and gender so as well as this being about his life, it’s also his life study. So thank you MM, and thank you Ariel for brightening his day!
Oh also, I forgot to say thank you for all your compliments! Our wedding was as special as it was b/c of all our amazing friends–one made the dress and suit, one made the cake, three made the invitations, the whole wedding party kept us sane and kept the dogs under control and just made everything EVERYTHING wonderful and incredible and better than I could ever imagined. We hardly did a thing!
Wow, what gorgeous photos! What a gorgeous couple!
Absolutely enchanting. What a wonderful and evocative record of a very special day celebrated with family and friends.
WOW…..WOW!!! LOve the cake topper the venue..ally you are frakin gorgeous!! WOW!!
This wedding is amazing! I posted in it another community on LiveJournal, and there were raves abound! It was also personally inspiring, as my fiance (who is transgender FTM) and I are getting hitched this fall. We couldn’t stop loving the photos and all of it! This is one of the most amazing weddings I have ever seen. I’m a makeup artist, and I’ve seen or been at nearly 400 or so weddings in my day… wow… it’s all I can say!
Totally agreed. I love their meeting story, the name, the friends, the animals…it’s all great. Love them. (They’re seriously hot too.)
[…] style. I was thrilled to come across the wedding of Aly and Elroi, who were featured last year on Offbeat Bride. Apparently, their friends not only made their cake and invitations, but also Aly’s dress and […]
Your site is so awesome. I’m wandering through it all even though my wedding was almost 3 years ago. I just have to say that those photos are amazing. The expressions captured between the couple are so real. Stunning!
[…] I’m bringing in the expertise of Elroi Windsor, who Offbeat Bride readers may remember from this inspiring queer wedding. Elroi is an Instructor and Doctoral Student of Sociology at Georgia State University with a focus […]
OH wow, I always find weddings like this so inspirational. Thanks so much for showing us this, and if the lovely couple reads this comment: Congrats, I offer you a standing ovation for your outstanding wedding.
I’m genderqueer and though I have just recently started dating the woman of my dreams, this gives me a lot of hope, everything is gorgeous, congrats you two.
Thanks again for the post & a note that one of the photos from it is in queue to be posted at http://www.genderfork.com. If you have questions or concerns, please let me know.
I’m freaking out because all the links to equallywed.com (and thus, the porn!!) Seem to be broken!