Male wedding privilege as seen from a transgender groom’s perspective
I have been thinking about the weird privilege I’ve held as the male-presenting person in this relationship. I believe this is because people want to honor my identity and respect my maleness, yet it feels uncomfortable and untrue… because it erases the fact that those images don’t actually fit our queer relationship, and they don’t include my trans-ness.
This engagement session reinterprets all those oh-so-familiar couple poses
When my fiancé Elliot and I got engaged, we didn’t have any plans to take engagement photos. But when we started our wedding research, we had a bit of a chuckle seeing the same series of photos again and again. As a joke, we started talking about doing spoofs of the photos… and then we did it for real.
What’s a bride to wear if you like playing with gender expectations?
My fiance loves to wear a bow tie and suit jacket, and equally loves to wear little dresses — and she’s at an absolute loss as to what to wear for our July 2014 wedding! She’s got a faux-hawk with the sides of her head shaved, and loves playing with gender expectations. Sometimes she’s soft-butch, sometimes she’s femme.
How do you deal with vendors who ignore grooms?
I know you guys have written before about wedding vendors who totally ignore grooms, but I’m looking for some super practical, step-by-step guidance on how to make it clear to my vendors that if they keep ignoring my fiance, they stand to lose our business.