When it comes to gift-giving, the general consensus among my peers is that you give what you can, if you wish. As far as we’re concerned, your presence is present enough — especially considering that we are a bunch of broke Millennials.
My extended family, however, hardcore-believes in tangible gifts. Some of them are sticklers for the traditional (and comfortably middle-class) notion of extensive and expensive gifts at shower, hen party, and wedding. It’s generous, but also uncomfortable, at odds with our values, and not always string-free. How can I discourage gifts at my wedding?
I come from a family of strict traditionalists when it comes to everything, especially weddings. I recently bought a peach wedding dress with no sleeves and expressed I wanted light blue hair and Converse to go with it. As you can imagine, things didn’t go over well. When I try to stand up for my wedding choices, I’m shamed for it.
So here’s my dilemma: if we invite my parents to our ceremony, they’ll gripe and stress us both out with their negativity. There are times when my fiance wants to invite his sister and her family (husband and two kids), but if you invite them, you have to invite my parents, too. It could all be avoided if our celebration was just with the two of us. However, since we’re eloping in our backyard, they’ll definitely be angry about not being invited when they see the photos. How do we handle this?
My sister has asked me to a bridesmaid. I’m deeply estranged from the majority of my extended relatives. She’s turning this wedding into a family reunion (300+ guests). I thought I had enough to worry about with being nonbinary and potentially needing to deal with gender dysphoria on the day, but many of these relatives are horrendously bigoted as well. Part of me wants to say fuck it and be outrageously myself as a nonbinary bridesmaid… but my anxious self fears for my safety. I’m not out to everyone.Should I ask to be demoted from bridesmaid to “regular guest” status so I can have full choice over what I wear?
We found out recently that one of our creepy old friends sexually assaulted someone. Needless to say, he is NOT invited to our wedding… any more. The problem here is that we sent our save-the-dates six weeks before we found out. How do we ensure that this predator doesn’t show up at our wedding? Do we have to explicitly tell him that he isn’t invited anymore, or do we casually “forget” to send out his invitation? What if he shows up anyway?
My fiance and I agree that a traditional, in-front-of-everyone-we-love wedding ceremony is not a necessary piece of our marriage story. It holds no meaning for us, and for me it would be far more anxiety-inducing than romantic. We are both content to throw it out, elope, and host a reception to celebrate our loved ones […]